The Spirit World Part 2: Escaping Bioware – A Help Guide.

(This is Part 2 of an ongoing community-driven story – check out Part 1 here)

So, you are trapped in a bathroom at Bioware HQ and there is a crocodile man wielding a lightsaber about to storm in and capture you.

Yep, that sums up my current situation.

What are you trying to achieve from this help guide?

I’m trying to stay alive.

Which bathroom are you in?

I’m not sure, it was a bit of a blur as I was running.

You have no idea whether you are in the male or female bathroom?

Well… there were a few women in here when I entered, but they left… immediately.

I think its safe to assume that this is the female bathroom.

Why does any of this matter?

It could become relevant at a later date.

The crocodile man sounds like he can’t open a door.

He is a crocodile man with a lightsaber. I don’t think the door is going to be much of a problem.

Oh… there goes that plan.

What plan? You had no plan, that’s why you summoned me.

Well you haven’t been much help have you?

Hey, I’ve kept you alive.

We are stuck in a bathroom with a crocodile man about to break the door down. I’m not going to be alive for much longer at this rate. And we still don’t have a plan.

Hey, your about to have your soul ripped from your body and you are choosing to argue with me instead of letting me think?

Ok, I’m sorry. Now, how do I escape?

Is there a window?


Ok, I am out of ideas.

What, that was your big idea – a window?

It would have worked.

Oh shit.

What, what’s happening…?

The crocodile man has crashed through the door.

Back yourself into a corner. It may give you a couple more seconds…


(Some time later)

Urgh, my head.

What happened, did you faint?

Get up.

Wha, who are you?

My name is Stephen Reid.

Are you injured, can you run?

I’m fine.

Good, I would not have been pleased if my companion had hurt you.


Yes, Qyzen Fess as I like to call him.


I need to give you information so that you can do this properly next time… Then, I shall allow you to escape.

I don’t think he can hear me. Act like you can’t hear me.

That’s what I’ve been doing.

But you don’t know all the facts and therefore have just been running around like a mad man talking to yourself.

Well, what is this information.

Bioware is owned by another company.


Everybody knows EA controls Bioware.

But not just EA. EA is controlled by an entity much older than this planet. They call themselves the Reapers.

You mean from Mass Effect?

We were trying to warn humanity with Mass Effect.

Wait up. The Reapers are real?

I have said all I can. Now you must leave. There is an escape pod behind you. Also, you are going to need this.

As soon as you can, RUN. Also what did he give you.

He gave me the lightsaber.

Cool, let me know when you are in the escape pod.

I’m in, how does this work.

Press the big red button, it should take you to Bioware and remember, you mus—

What happened, why cant we hear him?

The door closed.

Why would the door closing prevent you from being able to hear him.

Whoa, we are in space. And I think Stephen Reid was on a space station.

You’re kidding. You actually got to go to the EA space station.

EA have a space station?

Yea, its more like an orbital station though.

Is there a difference?

As far as you care, no. Anyway what colour is the lightsaber.

I’m not going to activate it untill we are on the ground.

Why? I’m curious.

I would rather not punch a hole in this small escape pod.

Good point. What’s happening in the pod?

There is a flashing light that says warning on it.


This concludes the “Escape From Bioware HQ Via The Spirit World Help Guide”

Wait, you cant leave me like this, what do I do?

For more help guides visit…

What, I need help now!

I would suggest the “Planning An Attack on BioWare HQ Via The Spirit World Help Guide”. However, in the meantime I would recommend… Try and land the pod.


Community involvement:

Option 1) Allow the pod to try and land itself

Option 2) Try and land the pod yourself



Community Involvement 2: what colour should the lightsaber be?

Option 1) Blue

Option 2) Red

Option 3) Other


Voting will close a week after release. Post your vote in comments!



For sneak peaks at the next part join SWTOR Gamers of Oceania

An original Ken Clark / TOROZ production

Consular update: Force Quakes!

The Consular update is here! Bioware released the updated Consular page along with a new class video, a Companion, Mirialan race update, and the Corellian  Defender Consular ship.

The main part of the update is the Consular’s new class video. The video starts on Coruscant with the Consular meditating, when some Imperials try to get the jump on him. The first is killed with a lightsaber attack. The second Imperial is killed with an unknown move that looks like a single target nuke/knock back. The third Imperial is killed with a new single target nuke move. The Consular is then shown on a ship overlooking a planet when attacked by their Imperial troops and a Sith. The Consular uses an unknown AoE knock back/nuke.

In the next scene, the Consular is in a large gun fight on an unidentified planet, when what appears to be a NPC trooper goes down. The Consular uses a rez spell to revive the downed NPC.  The Consular then uses what appears to be a buff. The buff is followed by force quake, an AoE move that has a chance of knockdown.

Towards the end of the video several clips are cut together, showing the Consular using several more unknown abilities. One ability shown is an AoE nuke that kills two Imperials but leaves the strongest, or mini boss, standing. The consular then uses a single target nuke to kill the remaining Imp. The last scene in the Consulars’ video is a duel between a Sith and the Jedi. The Consular is shown using a buff that looks very similar to the Knight’s Saber Ward ability. The Saber ward is followed by “Pebble Storm” that doesn’t seem to slow down the Sith, so the Consular throws out one more single target CC ability then finishes off the Sith. Be sure to watch the full video here.

The Consular’s new companion is Qyzen Fess, a Trandoshan hunter and tracker. He follows the traditional path to appease the scorekeeper, the Trandoshan goddess, by earning his jagganath points through killing savage beasts instead of being a gun-for-hire. His appearance is marked by his missing eye. This one-eyed killer has been traveling the galaxy for years and has had run-ins with all types making him very cautious, but once his loyalty is gained he will defend his friends to the death. Here is Qyzen Fess’s Holonet Page

The Consulars ship will be the same ship as the Jedi Knight’s, a Corellian Defender-Class Light Corvette. The Defender is a double-decker designed ship and has a very smooth layout. Check it out here on Star Wars: The Old Republic’s official site

The Miralian race was also added to the Holonet under the inhabitants tab:

Renowned in all corners of  the galaxy for their spirituality and strong connection to the Force, the Mirialan endure rigorous mental and physical training rituals to become both formidable warriors and skilled negotiators.- Holonet

The Mirialan are deeply spiritual and believe the actions of one do not just affect his fate but the fate of the race as a whole. The geometric tattoos covering the Mirialan’s face denotes their deeds and accomplishments, and upon death are used to determine the worth of that individual to the Mirialan race.  Be sure to take a look at their addition to the Holonet.